I’m sure you’ve all been wondering, “When, exactly, are we all going to die?”  Well now you know.  Let the seven year countdown begin!

The head of the UN’s Nobel-winning panel of climate scientists on Friday said only seven years remained for stabilising emissions of global-warming gases at a level widely considered safe.

…He issued a stark warning that time was running out for dealing with the threat.

In the 20th century, the temperature had already risen on average by 0.74 degrees Celsius (1.32 degrees Fahrenheit), he said.

The EU wants to limit the overall warming since pre-industrial times to 2 C (3.6 F), a goal that is shared by many scientists.

To do this, said Pachauri, “we would have to stabilise the greenhouse-gas concentration at more or less the level at which we are today.

“(…)But in order to do that, we have a window of opportunity of only seven years because emissions will have to peak by 2015 and reduce after that. We cannot permit a longer delay.”

Well at least it’s not tomorrow.

It’s a double whammy:

The facts are unequivocal, and point to a troubling future ahead. Over 850 fires, scorching some 200,000 acres, have set a new 2008 record for early-season wildfires in California. And from March to May precipitation has been the lowest since the inception of record keeping in 1894. In California as well as throughout the West, mountain snowmelts are occurring earlier, and winter storms are arriving later, extending the fire season by at least several weeks.

…Meanwhile, global warming is known to fuel mega-wildfires, particularly in the northern Rocky Mountains. In addition, over the past two decades mountain ecosystems across the West ranging from 5,300 to more than 8,000 feet above sea level have had the largest increase in big fires. It is these mountain ecosystems that are important for retaining snowfall and releasing it slowly into reservoirs. There are at least 350,000 homes in California that are on the urban/wildland interface and they remain at high risk to ever-increasing threat of wildfires.

Global warming is also significantly impacting our security by impinging upon our water supply. Even though average snowfalls in California from December to February of 2008 were recorded, by May state-wide water reservoirs that feed, drive and grow the state’s economy — the eighth mightiest on the planet — were only slightly above 53 percent of their respective capacities.

Seeing as how global temperatures have not risen in over a decade, how exactly is global warming responsible for there being more fires in 2008 than, say, 2004? Oh, nevermind…we’re all gonna die!

In part 5 of our series on the perpetual doom and gloom of the global warming cult we get not only hysterical fear-mongering, but an administration turned Judas.

The chances for extreme weather in the U.S. such as the record rainfall and flooding in Iowa this month are increasing as worldwide temperatures rise, a government agency that researches climate change said.

North America may get more abnormally hot days and nights, heavier downpours and deadlier storms from global warming, today’s report from the Bush administration’s U.S. Climate Change Science Program said. Elevated temperatures in recent decades already have led to more intense rainstorms in the Midwest, Northeast and Mid-Atlantic regions, said Thomas Karl, co-chairman of the report.

“The probability of heavy downpours is increasing, which leads to events like what we’re seeing in the Midwest,” said Karl, director of the National Climatic Data Center at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, in an interview.

We’re all going to drown! Nevermind that temperatures haven’t increased in a decade, or that so many of these computer models serving as the foundation of climate alarmism use bogus methodology. The important thing to remember is that we’re all going to die…unless we stop being evil capitalists who refuse to hand over our property to the state.

Part 4 of the “We’re All Gonna Die!” series focuses on Africa, the victim continent.

Africa most vulnerable to global warming effects, U.N. says

Africa produces a tiny fraction of the world’s greenhouse gases but is particularly vulnerable to the effects of global warming, U.N. environmental experts said Tuesday at a conference of African environment ministers here.

Some of those present had harsh words for the developed world, in particular the United States, the largest producer of greenhouse gases. They said industrialized nations are pressing Africans to reduce gas emissions while not doing enough themselves.

“Computer models project major changes in precipitation patterns on the continent, which could lead to food shortages and increased desertification,” says a United Nations Environment Program report released at the conference. “Yet on the whole, African nations lack the resources and technology to address such changes.”

…Lake Chad, which was once the second-largest wetland in Africa and supports 20 million people, is down to 5% of its size in 1973.

The report says forests, which cover 20% of Africa, are disappearing faster in Africa than on any other continent. Deforestation is a major concern in 35 African nations. The continent accounts for 15,500 square miles of the 50,000 square miles of forest lost globally each year.

“If we let things go on as they are, it is going to have a catastrophic effect on humanity,” said Andre Okombi Salissa, environmental minister of the Republic of Congo and president of the African Ministerial Conference on the Environment.

He called on the U.S. to cut its greenhouse emissions.

“Many times people think that Africans don’t know how to look after the environment because they’re not literate,” said Salissa. “But often they do know how to look after the environment and the developed countries do not. We need to look at this hypocrisy.”

The picture caption declares that Lake Chad “has shrunk in the last 35 years because of climate change.” Does that statement make sense? It’s essentially saying that the climate has changed because of climate change. Except there’s actually hidden meaning in the phrase beyond just the plain language.

What we have here is a real life example of newspeak, a case of language being used to manipulate thought. The phrase “climate change” has replaced “global warming” in many instances because it allows the speaker to dodge criticism. After all, that climate changes is without question. Unfortunately for honest debate, users of the phrase “climate change” mean more than just variation in climate, they mean man-made climate change (i.e. anthropogenic global warming). Less discerning listeners, who know that climate does indeed change, are susceptible to this bombardment of hidden implications that, not only is climate changing, but we’re responsible (was climate static before man?).

It also provides an infinite number of excuses for ever more government and regulation, which is no coincidence.

For the third installment of our never-ending series on how global warming will supposedly kill us all, I bring to you the story of a pacific island nation named Kiribati.

Rising sea levels caused by climate change will force the inhabitants of a group of Pacific coral islands to abandon their homes by the end of the century, their president has declared.

Anote Tong, president of the threatened islands in the Republic of Kiribati, has appealed to the international community to take responsibility for rehousing his compatriots.

The Republic of Kiribati is a collection of 32 atolls and one coral reef island, sitting just west of the International Date Line and astride the Equator. The highest land in the island chain is less than 2 metres above water — most of the land is much lower, and flat. As sea levels rise, Kiribati’s 97,000 inhabitants are going to have to find somewhere else to live before 2100, Tong says.

If they aren’t relocated they’re all gonna die!!!

Continuing the series on the numerous dangers global warming allegedly poses to us all, it’s time for another entry of “We’re All Gonna Die!”

What’s going to get us this time? Dengue!

MANILA, Philippines — Global warming and rapid urbanization are believed to be two of the major causes of dengue, Health Secretary Francisco Duque III said Monday.

Appearing at the weekly Kapihan sa Manila Hotel, Duque said the warm temperatures make the virus-carrying mosquitoes more active. He said countries like Vietnam, Thailand, Mexico, and Brazil have reported increases of dengue cases in their country and that even those that did not have dengue before have had reported of cases.

There has been a shift of trend beginning 2005, Duque added.

Before, the dengue cases would peak every three years. However, starting 2005 and 2006, there has been a continuous increase in the number of cases of dengue in the country annually. Based on the current trend, the Department of Health (DoH) suspects the total number of dengue cases for 2008 would exceed the statistics for 2007.

Thankfully, I can turn to the Idiot’s Guide to Surviving Global Warming issued for the Florida coast.

Environmental groups have issued a coastal, marine system global warming survival guide for Florida in an effort to prod state officials into taking action now while disaster is still manageable.

Florida has heated up by about two degrees Fahrenheit since the 1960s and scientists project that average temperatures will keep rising in the coming decades, with lows in winter increasing three to 10 degrees, and highs in summer increasing three to seven degrees.

These warmer temperatures will bring more extreme weather events, higher ocean temperatures and sea level rise, and while these prospects seem daunting, a group of nationally and internationally recognized environmental organizations has drafted a series of key steps that governments and individuals can take to minimize the dangers.

“By assembling the nation’s first comprehensive set of guidelines for dealing with the demonstrated effects of climate change on a coastal state, the Florida Coastal and Ocean Coalition has accomplished a first, said Environmental Defense Fund Climate Director Gerald Karnas.

“This is a real prescription for surviving the onrushing years of global warming. The whole world is going to be watching what is done here. This is the front line in the war on global warming,” said Karnas.

I might normally smack my head at the idea of someone uttering something as moronic as “the war on global warming,” but this might actually be a good development. If this is indeed a war on global warming, we won’t have to wait long before leftists are demanding defeat.

I always get a good chuckle monitoring the daily global warming hysteria. It’s gotten to the point where it’s impossible to turn around without running into another report on how global warming is going to make life miserable. In honor of the media’s obsession of stoking fear over global warming I’m beginning this series, which will run for as long as I have material (which doesn’t look to be running out anytime soon), highlighting all the myriad ways in which global warming is supposed to ruin our lives.

First up: Kidney Stones!

Latest research indicates that global warming could have another unwanted spin-off – it may spur the formation of kidney stones.

Dehydration, particularly in warmer climes and higher temperatures, will only exacerbate this effect. Consequently, the prevalence of stone disease may increase, along with the costs of treatment.

This is going to be fun.