The Department of Homeland Security is sounding the alarm.  Against a bioweapon? No. A new plot by radical jihadis to murder thousands of Americans?  Nope.  Against right wing extremism!  The report begins by pointing out that DHS has no real evidence to suggest that “right-wing extremists” are any danger.

The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing* terrorists are currently planning acts of violence, but rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues. The economic downturn and the election of the first African American president present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and recruitment.

Translation: Even without evidence, we know that those darn racists are up to no good.

What’s really amusing about the report, however, is the ridiculously broad definition of rightwing extremism.

* (U) Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly antigovernment, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration.

State and local authority?  Those bastards!  Here is a list I have compiled of notable right wing extremists throughout American history:

• Thomas Jefferson
• James Madison
• James Monroe
• Patrick Henry
• Samuel Adams
• George Mason
• John Hancock

Should you come across any of these dangerous radicals, please notify Janet Napolitano immediately.