BrianGarst.com

In the midst of this world cup fervor, many are once again asking the question of why it is that soccer, wildly popular the world over, fails to draw much attention in the U.S. The Locker Room draws connections between soccer and socialist systems and this connection, I believe, can answer that question.

Soccer has rules that reduce the impact of skill in order to achieve the socialistic goal of more egalitarian results. An example would be the “offsides” rule which, oddly enough, punishes offensive players for doing what they are suppose to be doing by getting behind defensive players. The rule serves no legitimate purpose other than to reduce the differences between skilled and lesser skilled players. It would be like telling a fast runner on a baseball team that he can only lead off 5 feet from a bag, with any more than that resulting in a penalty. Baseball recognizes that such a rule is backward as it punishes players for having a skill. And, even if such a result were desirable, there is an in-game remedy (the pitcher can pick the runner off). Soccer, however, fails to recognize that defensive players can simply adjust and cover their opponent better and instead demands regulation from a central authority.

Obviously it’s necessary to have a punishment for certain behaviors. Punching another player in the face, for instance, shouldn’t be allowed. But what happens when such well-intended rules are applied too liberally? The result, to the disgust of many Americans, is the creation of a soccer victim class. These players fall at the drop of a hat and feign injury, all with the hopes of taking advantage of the central regulating authority.

It is these policies that turn Americans off. We don’t want an egalitarian game where it’s entirely possible to end in a 0-0 tie. We want to see who is best, because in our core principles, we recognize that competition promotes growth. While socialists bemoan the fact that someone has to lose, Americans recognize that losing shows people where they need to improve and can make them better. We want games where an obviously better team can win by more than a score of 2-1 or 2-0. We want games where the objective of the player is to win by being better than his opponent, not a game where players try to trick a central authority into intervening on their behalf. In short, we don’t care for soccer because soccer is just not very American.