BrianGarst.com

Put your mind to ease! America is no longer going to be held hostage by little magnetic balls, thanks to the fine efforts of our beneficent overlords:

The Consumer Product Safety Commission on Wednesday sued the maker of the popular magnetic desk toy Buckyballs to stop the sale of the product because of the risks posed to children.

Some major retailers, including Amazon, Brookstone and Urban Outfitters, have agreed to stop selling these and similar products at CPSC’s request. Children who swallow the tiny magnetic balls can require surgery when they become stuck in their intestines.

Well thank goodness. Without the millions spent on the CPSC, America might have to suffer another horrendous bout of almost two dozen Buckyball accidents over the next four years. Can you imagine the horror?

So here we have a product marketed to adults that, if used improperly by children (i.e. swallowed) can be harmful. Can anyone think of any other adult products that can be harmful to children? Oh, I don’t know, how about all of them!

With millions of Buckyballs sold to date, the CPSC is reacting to 20 or so incidents. That’s it. Meanwhile, how many thousands of kids die in traffic accidents each year? Who cares that cars are for adults, a child could still get the key and take it for a spin! We must outlaw cars! Why won’t you just think of the children?

And remember chemistry sets? Sorry, you can forget about teaching little Johnny about science, what if the tyke chugs a chemical!? And forget about bikes, too…they’re just death on wheels!

If it were up to the big government nanny’s, we’d all live in padded rooms while being fed through straws and forced to watch Obama documentaries for the rest of our lives. Life is full of risk. If each one, no matter how minuscule, provides a sufficient excuse to curtail our liberty, then we’ll quickly find that we have none left.

P.S. You can still purchase Buckyballs here, and help support their efforts to, as they say, “fight hard to keep our products on the market… and our balls in your hands.”

P.P.S. They’ve also released this ad in response:

Overgovernment