BrianGarst.com

Learning absolutely nothing from the April massacre of 32 Virginia Tech students, the school has offered a mild set of changes supposedly designed to beef up security.

. . . The report said there was adequate coordination between Virginia Tech and local emergency workers, but recommended that officials improve the university?s ability to handle emergencies by centralizing the campus police and fire departments into one building. The cellular and phone systems on campus should also be upgraded to avoid being overloaded in emergencies, the report said.

The report described the university’s mental health system as responsive, but said privacy laws had created confusion about gaining access to students? health information. It called for an increase in the number of case workers on campus who can identify students at risk of mental problems.

Some of the changes suggested by the report have already been made. The university has replaced many of the types of door handles that enabled Mr. Cho to chain the doors during his attack, preventing the police from entering when they first arrived. It has also instituted a system to alert students and staff members of emergencies by text messages to cellphones, e-mail accounts and online instant messages.

So, Virginia Tech students, do your new door handles and new phone systems make you feel any safer? At least you’ll have the comfort of knowing that administration officials can babble on the phone a little bit more efficiently when a madman bursts into your classroom and begins firing. And you’ll furthermore know that when police finally do arrive they won’t have to wait outside, sitting on their thumbs (though they still might). Will these gestures comfort you as you lay dying on the floor because you weren’t allowed the freedom to arm yourself with defensive weapons? I certainly hope so.